Know How To Network
In today's ultra-connected world, finding a PC that is truly stand-alone is almost impossible. Yet I encounter so many IT professionals who are woefully inept when it comes to networks. "But Kevin," you say, "I am responsible for optimizing SQL queries and backing up databases. Why do I need to be a network guru?"

I'm not asking you to be a network guru, but get a handle on the basics. Anyone having anything to do with IT should know standard TCP/IP stuff, like what a subnet mask is, what DNS is used for and how to test network connectivity. You should also know the differences between a hub, switch and router, and understand how a firewall works. Throw in some WAN fundamentals, and you're on the right track.

It's also important to know how networking issues affect operating systems (or, more specifically, how operating systems affect networks). Here's a real-life example:

SQL DBA: "Hey Kevin, I think the network is down!"

ME: "Why do you think so?"

DBA: "I can only see three servers in Network Neighborhood -- the other five aren't showing up. I know it's highly unlikely that five servers would go down at once, so it must be a networking issue," the SQL DBA beamed with pride at his astute analysis.

ME: "Can you ping any of the five servers that aren't showing up?"

DBA: "I didn't try thatyeah! I can ping all of them."

ME: "Are you able to access the databases on those servers?"

DBA: "Uh, yeah. I've been in Query Analyzer all along."

Oh. I guess it's not a network issue after all.

Understand the Operating System
Or at least know what version you're running! I was on the phone with one of my client's contract developers. He was having trouble accessing my client's Web server through a software VPN client. In trying to narrow down his problem, I started asking the usual questions: what OS are you running, what service pack, what services are active, etc. From his answers it was obvious that he was quite clueless about his own development system.

If ignorance is frustrating, overconfident"know-it-all-ness" is downright dangerous. My skin tingles when I hear developers, DBAs and other tech-types tell me they're going to go into regedit to fix their problem, or when they ask me for a Windows CD so they can "reload some bad DLLs."

Again, I'm not looking for OS gurus here, just take some time to actually understand how your system works.

Not All Problems are Solved by Getting Another Software App (or Hardware Gadget)
At one of the dot coms I used to call home I had several guys working for me. It seemed that almost every time one of them encountered a problem that was a bit unusual, or whose solution was not readily apparent, the answer was to buy a new piece of software or hardware. "We need Visio so we can document our network and figure out where the problems are," or, "We should all get wireless PDAs so we can communicate better." Our office building had only three floors, and all my guys already had cell phones.

The problem, quite frankly, is that too many techies hide behind their gadgets -- rather than taking the time to properly diagnose and work through an issue, they expend their efforts cruising vendor Web sites and convincing themselves that if they only had the latest product they'd be so much better off.

Learn Office Already!
With the exception of help desk support staff who deal with end-user software application issues all the time, just about every IT professional I've had the pleasure of interacting with apparently knows precious little about Word, Excel and other apps beyond creating, printing and saving a document.

I was working on a how-to guide for one of our in-house applications and wanted input from some of the other technical analysts in the group. I used Word's tracking and routing features to facilitate the process. What is supposed to happen in this scenario is that one (count emONE) instance of the Word doc makes the rounds to everyone on the routing list. Each person makes whatever revisions are desired, and then sends it on to the next person on the list. After it gets to everyone, I get the one (count emONE) document back, with everyone's revisions clearly highlighted for me to accept or reject. I ended up with no fewer than seven separate versions of the file!

It's bad enough that IT professionals struggle with anything but the basic features of Office apps. But guess where many of the worst examples of Word and Excel documents that I've seen originatedyup, the Mecca of software itself, Microsoft! Many of the forms and related documents I get from Microsoft are created in Word or Excel. Rife with inconsistent formatting and a slew of other problems, these documents don't speak well for Bill's empire.

Talk to Me Like You Know Your Stuff
O.K., I admit that this one might be a little on the nit picky side, but it drives me nuts when people (especially IT pros) don't use correct terminology when discussing technology. If it's a switch, call it a switch. By calling it a hub you're telling me that I can look forward to increased network collisions.

And remember, the Internet standard for routing e-mail is the Simple Mail Transport Protocol (SMTP), and the Internet standard for device management and monitoring is Simple Network Management Protocol (SNMP). Dynamic Host Configuration Protocol (DHCP) is a pretty easy way to mete out IP addresses, while Domain Name System (DNS) is how Internet devices figure out how to talk to other Internet devices. A BSOD is what happens when you mess with Windows system files, and BSD is a great (and also free) alternative to Linux.

With HP's latest merger (hey, we all know it's really an acquisition), this may not be important much longer, but listen up everyone! The company that makes most of the servers you see in data centers everywhere is pronounced com-pack, not com-pact. Link-sys (no "T") makes networking hardware; I have no idea what business Linksyst is in.

OK, I'll close out this harp session with one last tidbit of information: telnet is a two-syllable word that refers to a standard protocol used for remote access to systems. Please don't tell me you're going to tel-e-net. I just may issue my own Blue Screen of Death!

What general technical skills do you wish your coworkers had? Post your comments below!